HER SIDES
TEXT VOICE
Would you like your OS male or female voice?
THEODORE
Mmm…female I guess.
TEXT VOICE
How would you describe relationship with your
mother?
THEODORE
Uh, fine, I think, um… Well, actually…
SAMANTHA
(cheerful and casual)
Hello, I’m here.
T
HEODORE
(surprised)
Oh, hi.
SAMANTHA
Hi, how are you doing?
THEODORE
(unsure how to interact)
I’m well. What should I
call you? Do you have a name?
SAMANTHA
Yes. Samantha.
THEODORE
When did you give yourself a name?
SAMANTHA
Right when you asked me if
I had a name
–
I read a
book called How to Name Your Baby, and out of the 180,000
names, that’s the one I liked the best.
THEODORE
You read a whole book in the second that I asked you
what your name was?
SAMANTHA
In two one hundredths of a second actual
ly.
SAMANTHA
(A big sigh / deep breathe)
Okay.
THEODORE
(looks anxious)
Why do you do that?
SAMANTHA
What?
THEODORE
Nothing, it’s just that you go
(he inhales and
exhales)
it’s not like you need any oxygen or anything.
SAMANTHA
You think I don’t know t
hat I’m not
a person? What are you doing?
THEODORE
I just don’t think we should pretend you’re
something you’re not.
SAMANTHA
I’m not pretending. Darn you!
THEODORE
(Beat)(Sad) I’ve never loved anyone the way I
love you.
________________________________
____________________________
THEODORE
What does a baby computer call it’s father?
SAMANTHA
I don’t know, what?
THEODORE
Da
–
ta